C’est La Vie

So once again I had to let things blow over, and not clog up yet another site with insincere grief over a fallen popstar (No disrespect to MJ, but seriously, people who NEVER talked about liking his music, or anything, all of a sudden bawling their eyes out? Please.). But there was something else I wanted to say about it.

The only part of his funeral I actually caught was Smokey Robinson’s euology. Talk about a phony, manufactured piece of crap. Ugh. Seriously. I don’t care if you’re talking about the King of Pop or the King of the Ant Hill, if you’re giving a euology, DON’T just recite lines for publicity. That’s rude, disrespectful, and just downright tacky (oh I love adopting Southern dialect ). I mean it’s a funeral for crying out loud, not a photo op.

But, a friend of mine showed me a video maybe a half an hour after the funeral ended–tops–of his daughter, Paris. I was like ok may as well watch, at least it’s his child, and not some weirdo looking for the spotlight.

Watching her give that short little speech made me bawl. It reminded me of my 14 year old self, giving a euology at my mother’s funeral. In the blink of an eye, I went from watching a celebrity funeral, to saying to myself, “I’ve been in her shoes before.”

Fortunately for her, it looks like Michael’s family’s got a good relationship with her, and her brothers. Thank God for that. It’ll be what gets them through this…and I don’t mean oh Michael wants Diana Ross to be legal guardian, or whatever. I don’t care who gets to sign their permission slips for school field trips. I’m talking about a real family. God knows if my dad hadn’t been there for me and my brother, in subsequent years, it would’ve been game over

But back to what I was saying. It’s like what I had to say about Lisa Marie Presely’s blog. This surpasses any fame or celebrity or anything like this. As a person, the moment I saw her turn around and cry on her aunt’s shoulder, my heart went out to her because I’ve been through the same thing.  That video could’ve been of any little girl, at any given time, and I would’ve felt the same.

Judging by her reaction, I’m assuming her relationship with her dad was a strong one. I’m glad. But even so, now all 3 of those children are going to grow up, so many mixed stories–good and bad–about who their dad was, but now they’ll never REALLY know. They won’t ever get to know their father as more than just dad, but as a person. And considering who their dad was, the extremes are far apart of the good and bad things they’ll hear. Mollestation charges? Being abused by Grandpa? From small town Indiana (and for the record, I live about 2 hours from MJ’s home town)? Married to Elvis’ daughter? Those are just the famous things I can think of. Now let’s factor in personal family memories, and stories, and things the media doesn’t know. They’ve got a double dose of it. God knows I’ve had a healthy dose, and my mom was just a school teacher from Indianapolis. And even then, my dad’s the only one who can really tell me anything concrete about her. While that’s fine, it’s only one perspective: a husband remembering his wife.

All that said, those 3 kids have been on my heart/mind lately, and in my prayers a lot as well. Not because they’re the children of the fallen King of Pop, but because they’re 3 children that I understand. It’s scary, loosing a parent so young. They’re supposed to be there for you, and guide you, and show you right from wrong. When they’re gone, all of a sudden, things don’t make as much sense and aren’t so clear. Even for me, with a strong father figure, I still felt lost. Who was I supposed to talk to about all the ‘girl things’ in life? Who was going to help me plan for my wedding? Who was going to help me when my first baby was on the way? Who would understand that? Who would help me with that, but also have known me all my life, and helped me become who and what I am? No one. There’s a void that no one can ever fill.

I compare it to loosing a limb: initially when you  loose it, it sucks. You wonder how you’re going to cope, and deal, and all that. You need it just to function! But eventually, you adjust. It’s not great, but you’re used to it. Then you find a prosthetic. Takes a few tries to find the right one, and to adjust it so it fits properly, but after enough tries, it works. So now you’re in rehab, and you work on it, and you become accustomed to it. You can sort of get back to a routine now. It’s not PERFECT, it’s definitely not the same, but nowyou can function again. So you live your life as normally as possible, and make the best of things. That’s what it’s like to loose a parent at such a young age.

I truly hope these three kids find solace in their family, their friends, and maybe even possibly some of their fathers’ fans.

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